a hard few days

I have been amazed and grateful for all of the support, love, generosity, and hugs that I have received in the past three days. Losing someone dearly loved is obviously never easy, but God has used so many people to help bring some comfort. My brother was and is very special to me, and grief can seem overwhelming, but I know that time and prayer will get me and my family through this difficult time. Thanks to everyone for all of your prayers!

"For the Lord gives wisdom; out of His mouth come knowledge and understanding." (Proverbs 2:6)

I HATE POTTY-TRAINING!

I tried to find a picture frame that looked like dreaming -- this one's close, clouds and bubbles -- because I think that's the only place Seth's going to be potty-trained -- IN MY DREAMS!


I set a timer to remind me to take him to the bathroom because I would definitely lose track of time without a reminder.


I'm not saying I'm giving up because that would be ridiculous. Even though Seth went through four pairs of undies in three hours and peed on the floor twice, I'm not giving up. Even though I have more "on my plate" than is healthy for five people to "eat," I'm not giving up. He'll catch on eventually -- surely. And I must remember that THIS IS MY LAST ONE!!!!!! I should never have to do this again!!!!!!

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today's song: "Waiting to be Found" by Ashton, Becker, Dente

No bolt of light took away my sight
No ghost of Moses made me tremble
No preacher's threat could have set me right
It took a quiet revelation plain and simple

Only You could reach into the cavern of my soul
And offer me a candle and a hand to hold

Waiting to be found
(Behind the laughter painted eyes)
Waiting to be found
(Deep in the shadows where we hide)
The sun climbs high
Then the sun goes down
On people waiting to be found

People looking high and low
For the ONE who is closer than they know

moose calling

When Seth and I got home from his therapy appointment today, we saw a FUNNY situation across the street! The little girl opened the door to go get in the car, and SCREAMED because there was a moose almost right in her face! She shut the door, and then I saw it open again and heard the grandmother scream and shut the door. A few seconds later, the door opened again and the mother screamed and shut the door (I'm thinking the grandmother thought it would be funny to not tell the mother about the moose -- it was!). I think if they'd held the door open, that moose would've come on in.

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today's song: "Never" from Glory Revealed 2 album

Never, never will I leave you
Never, never will I forsake you
He says, never will I leave you

beads, book, & job

Here's the update on my lamp shade. I have 27 1/2 more rows to do. I bead while watching Grey's Anatomy and complete 1/2 a row during each episode. So it'll still take me quite a while to finish, but I'm getting close :-)

I finished another book last night, the fourth and last in the "Lumby" series. It was interesting, but not the best in the series. I did enjoy the common human interaction and day-to-day living of the story, but it didn't completely draw me in like some books do. I'm glad I was able to read this series. There were many funny episodes and almost no overly emotional parts. It was a relief from some of the real-life, movie, and book over-emotionalism that I allow.

I mentioned recently that I was getting a job, but now it's official. I start training next Thursday re-stocking Hallmark cards part-time. I filled out all my paperwork, and my supervisor called this afternoon to tell me that one store wanted me to start TODAY. She told him that she really did need to train me first. I'm not at all sure how I'm going to find time to work more than I already do, but it will definitely be nice when the paychecks start coming to have a little extra to pay on the American Express :-)

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today's song: "Jesus Loves Me" by Amy Grant

Jesus loves me -- this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak, but He is strong

And they'll know we are Christians
By our love

HAHAHAHA! Seth was signing "butterfly" when I took this picture of the boy cousins, and I found this butterfly frame to put around it. Gavin came to cheer on Luke and Joel at their wrestling tournament today. They still lost, though. Maybe they'll win some matches at the next tournament. Luke and Gavin had fun running around the side of the gym and playing with a little toy, though.


And Joel enjoyed playing his video game for hours and hours.


Seth was really happy to see Makayla today and had to give her hugs and kisses. He kept "helping" her find her blanket and little rattle toy. CUTE!


Gavin was trying to make his grouchy mean face to go with his sweatshirt, but he kept laughing. (notice the clenched fists helping in the attempt to make a grouchy mean face)


We did get to watch a little four-year-old boy from church named Aiden wrestle some VERY exciting matches. The first match that I got to see, Aiden's poor little opponent ran out onto the mat all smiley and happy, dancing around, ready to play. He didn't realize that Aiden wasn't on the mat to play; he was there to wrestle! The poor little opponent found out about three seconds later when Aiden took him down and tried to pin him, probably inflicting a little bit of pain in the process. The poor little opponent was yelling something like, "HEY! STOP! TIME OUT!" I felt sorry for the poor little guy, but it was AMAZING to see this little four-year-old Aiden wrestle like a pro! The second match I got to see, Aiden's opponent had a little better idea what he was up against. Aiden had to work to win; but after doing his lion roar (which we at first thought was crying, but then realized was something like the transformation of David Banner to the Incredible Hulk), he most definitely won the match. The poor little opponent almost refused to come back onto the mat to finish the match. Again, I felt REALLY sorry for the poor little opponent; but WOW!!!! Aiden listened to his dad, the coach, and actually DID what he yelled to him! SO skilled and impressive!!!

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today's song: "Faithful Father" by Sarah Kelly

I open my heart
Embracing Your change
On You I fix my gaze
I feel the heat of
Your lamp on my feet
Guiding my way

Why do I worry? Why do I worry about tomorrow?
When You are the one who holds my future in Your hands
Faithful Father, I surrender all to You
All my love and my devotion
All to You

no excitement whatsoever

Sometimes my life involves three meals, laundry, and diapers. These are good times to be thankful. I'm thankful that my family and I are well-fed and healthy. I'm thankful that we have clean clothes, electricity, and running water. I'm thankful for all four of my children, even (or should I say "especially"?) the one who still stinks up the entire house with his messy diapers. I'm also thankful for one full-time income and a new part-time income. As of next week, I'll be working part-time as a card re-stocker. I had to either get a job or stop eating at City Diner :-)

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today's song: "God of Wonders" by Third Day

Early in the morning
I will celebrate the light
When I stumble in the darkness
I will call Your name by night

God of wonders beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy
The universe declares Your majesty
And You are holy holy
Lord of Heaven and Earth

more "no thank you"

Seth and I went to Target and Fred Meyer today, and we were laughing so loudly that people might have been a little irritated. We were practicing saying "no, thank you" except with funny voices and faces. When Seth laughs, no one listening can help but laugh along!

Here's another beautiful garden scene to be a reminder that SPRING WILL BE HERE SOON!


I'm REALLY enjoying the sun lately, even though driving in it hurts my eyes and gives me a headache. The time change makes the evening less tiring since the sunlight doesn't leave us completely until after 8 p.m. That extra light is making me antsy for WALKING time!!!! (so is the tightness of my clothes)

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today's song: "Crawl" by Margaret Becker

i'm all right
i know i'm not alone
if i can't walk to You
You know i'll crawl

garden of prayer

Since this is Alaska, where the mosquito is the state BIRD (that's a joke, by the way, but only barely), I wouldn't want the little stream in my back yard; but MAN! I would love to have a nice little gazebo and beautiful garden and well groomed grass and path -- a place to relax, pray, enjoy looking at the beauty of Creation. The problems are that making this type of scene costs money and keeping up this type of scene takes time, patience, and at least a little bit of a green thumb. So too bad for me -- I'll just have to dream about it or maybe go visit the mosquito-infested botanical gardens a little more often. OR maybe I could make myself a personal mosquito-netting tent so that I could sit in the botanical garden undisturbed by insects. THAT might work! Except that free time without children is pretty much nonexistent, so I'll have to just keep dreaming.

Today, Seth was being a pill after school when we were picking Luke up from his classroom. Seth was throwing himself on the floor and rolling around, so I asked him if he wanted me to have to give him a spanking. He very sweetly and calmly answered, "Noooooo, thank you." HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That was the very first time he every said those words, and what a perfect time to use them! I'm still chuckling over it!

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today's song: "Hold" by Superchick (just in case I've never explained -- "You" with a capital "Y" means God)

tell me that its going to be ok
tell me that You'll help me find my way
tell me that You can see the light of dawn is breaking
tell me that its going to be all right
tell me that You'll help me fight this fight
tell me that You wont leave me alone like this

cause i need, i need a hand to hold
to hold me from the edge
the edge i'm sliding over slow
cause i need, i need Your hand to hold
to hold me from the edge
the edge i'm sliding past
hold on to me

tell me i can make it through the day
i dont even have the words to pray
You have to be the only one who never left me
help me find the way through all my fears
help me see the light through all my fears
help me see that i'm not alone in all of this

book 3 of 4

I recently finished the third book in the Lumby series, "Lumby's Bounty." These books are about living in a very small town, so I enjoy them generally because I really like stories about everyday life. This book revolved mostly around a hot-air balloon festival that this small town was hosting because a teenager secretly applied for the position on behalf of the town. Everyone in the town had to work together to plan the festival, make the hot-air balloon to represent the town, and host all the festival attendees. Interesting.

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today's song: "Surrender" by Joy Williams

There are places in my heart and corners of my mind
That I’ve hidden from Your light
Like buried treasure deep inside of me
I don’t want You to see, I keep it to myself

But You give Your love to me
You open up Your heart unselfishly
Lord, in Your embrace now I can say, I surrender

Everything I held so precious
Everything I kept away
I give it up
All for You, I give it all for You
Everything I held as treasure
I give it all for You

first wrestling tournament

Today was the boys' first wrestling tournament. We thought that Luke wasn't going to be able to go because he was up for over an hour in the middle of the night throwing up. When he came upstairs this morning with his barf bucket and lay on the couch, we thought for sure he wouldn't be able to wrestle.


But then Dad fed him some magic applesauce, and Luke slowly recovered enough to go to the tournament. He lost his first two matches, but he tried really hard.




Joel had to sit in the gym for over four hours waiting for his turn to wrestle. He lost one, won one, and then lost another one. The first tournament is always difficult for my boys probably because they're told every single day to be nice and not hurt people. On the wrestling mat, though, they're supposed to be aggressive.


And these two kiddos had to sit through the whole thing, bored most of the time. Makenzie had a book, her DS, and a friend to play with for part of the time. She still was MORE than ready to leave. Seth didn't seem to mind being there, though. He was either in his stroller or being held most of the time, but he didn't seem too upset about it like he normally does. He likes to be free to run around or to sit when he feels like it, but he did a great job at being patient with the situation today.

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today's song: "Hiding Place" by Jars of Clay

Amidst the sorrows of the way
Lord Jesus, teach my soul to pray
Let me taste Thy special grace
And run to Christ, my hiding place

You know the vileness of my heart
So prone to act the rebel's part
And when You veil Your lovely face
How can I find a hiding place

Lord, guide my wandering feet
Draw me to Thy mercy seat
I've nought to trust but sovereign grace
Thou only art my hiding place

How unstable is my heart
Sometimes I take the tempter's part
And slight the tokens of Thy grace
And seem to want no hiding place

But when Thy spirit shines within
Makes me feel the plague of sin
And how I long to see Thy face
'Tis then I want a hiding place

Lord Jesus, shine and then I can
Feel sweetness in salvation's plan
And as a sinner plead for grace
Christ, the sinner's hiding place

Playdate

Some friends came over this morning and we enjoyed some playing, some fighting, and some SERIOUS laughing! We all played a little, both kids and adults. I love playing cards (especially Skip-Bo) :-) The fighting involved little boys only. They're good friends, but a little too much alike to get along all the time. I was impressed that the big boys didn't fight at all. I guess fifth grade is the time of maturity, at least in the area of getting along with guests. The laughing was mostly the adults. My friend hid Seth's ball in the front of her shirt, and Seth just could NOT find it! We were amazed that he thought it was normal for someone to look like that! Seth kept calling his ball a "zipper ball" because my friend called it that in order to hear Seth say "zipper" (his favorite word and one word that he says almost perfectly and very adorably). This also cracked us up. Then Seth propped himself up on the table like this and caused more laughing :-)

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today's song: "Creed" by Third Day (ignore the Spanish subtitles) I believe in God the Father Almighty Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son, our Lord He was conceived by the Holy Spirit Born of the virgin Mary Suffered under Pontius Pilate He was crucified and dead and buried I believe that He who suffered was crucified, buried, and dead He descended into hell and on the third day, rose again He ascended into Heaven where He sits at God's mighty right hand I believe that He's returning To judge the quick and the dead of the sons of men I believe in God the Father Almighty Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son, our Lord I believe in the Holy Spirit One Holy Church The communion of Saints The forgiveness of sin I believe in the resurrection I believe in a life that never ends I believe what I believe is what makes me what I am I did not make it, no it is making me It is the very truth of God and not the invention of any man

fun with the cousins

Seth and I joined Aunt Amanda, Gavin, and Makayla at Bouncin' Bears today :-) We had forgotten that the public schools are on spring break, making the place a little busier than normal. But we still had FUN!!

Seth's hair caused at least two moms to mistake him for a girl today. I'm thinking of having a shirt made for him with "I'm a BOY -- all this hair will soon be donated to Locks of Love!" on the front AND back. And what kind of mother would dress their little girl in these clothes: red & blue shirt, gray pants, and Thomas the Tank Engine sneakers????!!!!


I tried so many times to get a good shot of the boys sliding down this giant slide, but really never succeeded. Their hair was flying and their smiles were ENORMOUS!


Gavin was ADORABLE waiting for Seth and encouraging him!


Gavin climbed up on the tiny slide so that he could "blast off" -- I really wish I had re-charged my camera batteries to get a video of this!


One last try at the slide picture. The flying hair and enormous smile are slightly visible.


For some reason, Seth thought it would be a good idea to try out his newly-learned wrestling skills on Gavin. We all thought that Seth was going toward Gavin to hug him, but instead he hooked his arm around the poor little guy's head and took him down to the floor. Gavin was shocked, and so were Amanda and I! We never expected wrestling moves from Seth who has only gone to wrestling practice twice, I think. I tried to make him understand that he can only wrestle people at wrestling practice, definitely NOT at Bouncin' Bears and NOT with boys who don't realize they're about to be attacked!

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today's song: "Save Me" by Jj Heller (I didn't pick this song in reference to the wrestling story, but it's a pretty funny coincidence that that happened the same day that I picked this song.)

You tell me life will not be pain free
What will be will always be in Your control
Darkness is light to You
And all You ask me to do
Is trust what You say is true

You are stronger
Than any terrible possible scenario today
Come and save me
You’re the only source of all the peace I need
Come and save me

snowed in

Seth and I were snowed in today. We watched three people get stuck right in front of our house, so we decided that the van should remain in the garage while we remained in our nice warm house. Jason has a truck, so he brought the kids home from school . We did go outside in the afternoon to play in the snow and to shovel. Seth insisted that we wear matching green John Deere hats :-)


Seth helped me shovel for a little while :-)


not for very long, though :-)


When the kids got home from school, Joel helped me finish up the shoveling and then played in the snow.


I'm hoping we don't get anymore snow tonight so that Seth and I can do all our normal Wednesday activities!

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today's song: "Movin' on Up" by Third Day

Well I was lost
But now I am found
I believe in You
I've got no doubts
And I'm movin' on up now
I'm gettin' out of the darkness
My light shines on

unscheduled

Today wasn't a busy day, but it somehow got a little out of whack. Seth always has therapy on Monday mornings, but I realized late last night that his therapist took this week off. I had to go to Target today (they have the cheapest gatorade and yogurt and those great $1 bins) and spent too much time there, so lunch was a little later than I'd planned. Seth ate a normal lunch, but I decided to try provolone cheese with pickles. I ended up eating the entire package of cheese and probably half the jar of pickles (small package, small jar, by the way) -- not all at one time, though. I would eat a few then put them away for an hour or so then go back and get some more. Then tonight, Makenzie, Seth, and I went to City Diner for dinner and took a little more time than we had. We needed to go to Sports Authority to get Seth some tights to wear under his wrestling singlet, but didn't have time to go there. We went to Value Village instead, but realized that we really needed to get home because Makenzie still needed a bath and Jason needed to get to Bible study. Everything was just a little out of whack today. Not a bad day, just a little off. I'm thankful that nothing went horribly wrong, and I'm very thankful that it's almost time to sleep :-)

And this has to be the MOST enthralling post EVER written!

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At least I have a good song to share: "Your Hands" by Jj Heller (give the video some time to load -- it's a really great song!)

When my world is shaking
HEAVEN STANDS!
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands.

stickerization

This is one of the things I did today -- sticker-ized Joel's and Makenzie's picture frames. I didn't like the plain white thingy that I can't remember the name of because my head hurts. So I bought stickers to jazz them up. We had fun deciding which stickers to put where and whether to put them straight or at an angle :-)


ahhh -- it's called a matte, isn't it? yeah, I'm REALLY sick of these headaches!!!! I know that God controls the weather, so complaining about the weather is griping right at God. So I'm not going to complain about how the weather has been so up and down this winter, causing some MAJOR headaches for me. I'll just keep hoping that He decides to level out the temperatures so that I can be more comfortable (because it IS all about me, right? -- jk of course, just in case anyone thought I was serious).

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today's song: "A Little More" by Shawn McDonald

It's time to confess that I need a little more
Jesus inside of me, Jesus inside of me

Iditarod

We took the kids downtown this morning to watch the start of the Iditarod. It was around 30 degrees, I think -- not too bad really. We parked a few blocks away from where we were meeting some people -- again, not too bad really. We got to see several dog sleds go by.


The kids had their snow suits on, so they got comfy on the snow mound to watch the dog sleds. They cheered for each sled we saw, and they caught three of the old dog boots that the drivers threw out.


After we watched the dogs for a while, we walked to the snow sculptures. Joel and I thought they were within a few blocks, but they were NOT. I'm pretty sure they were at least ten miles from the van! But we finally made it, and they were quite interesting.


This one is a sculpture of one of those little plastic dolls that come in different skin colors. Joel thought it looked like a buddha and didn't want his picture with it, but I made him be in the picture anyway.


About halfway back to the van from the ice sculputures, Seth started crying. A LOT!!! I think he was crying because he was so cold. The rest of us weren't cold because we were walking. He was just sitting in the stroller because I didn't want to lose him or have to hold him when he got out of control. The poor child didn't really stop crying until I'd gotten him home and wrapped up in a warm blanket on my lap. I felt REALLY bad!!!! I should've had him bundled up better! Now we know to change the plan when Seth goes to outside activities: 1. keep it short so he doesn't get too cold in the stroller, 2. put the baby "leash" on him and hope he cooperates with walking, or 3. bundle him up REALLY REALLY well. Once he warmed up, he was back to his normal cheerful, funny Seth self :-)


HA! He loves to find things to put on his head and hands. He is SUCH an angel!!!!!!!

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today's song: "Oh me of Little Faith" by Ashton, Becker, Dente

There's been a whole lot of rain comin' down around me lately
In fact it's more like a hurricane
And I've been lettin' it shake me
I've been turnin' and tossin' my sleep all away
But wait just a minute
Where's my faith been lately?

Oh me, oh me of little faith
God never ever went away
Ain't no amount of worry gonna make things change
Oh me, oh me of little faith

Got no reason in the world to doubt
God will take care of me
In fact He's proven time and time again
How much He loves me

I'm not talkin' 'bout maybe
And I don't mean He might
So why do I worry Forget sometimes He's with me?

Oh me, oh me of little faith
God never ever went away
Ain't no amount of worry gonna make things change
Oh me, oh me of little faith

more Seth trouble

I was making brownies this morning while Seth was watching movies. I made a small pan to give to a friend, and I planned to make a big pan after those baked. I left all the ingredients on the counter so that it would be all ready for the next batch. While the small pan was baking, I went to the computer room to play with my ipod. While I was playing with my ipod, Seth got the container of cocoa, carried it over to his chair in front of the tv, took the lid off, and dumped the rest of the cocoa all over the place. I was NOT happy obviously! Here's where Seth waited in "time out" while I cleaned up his mess:


Since he woke up this morning before 7 a.m., he didn't really mind being in bed because it was the perfect opportunity to catch a little nap. He's still an angel!!! But I think his halo is a little crooked :-)

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today's song: "Eagle" by Third Day

My pain and problems keep me chained
And my troubled heart makes me weak
I'll wait for You to comfort me
And in You I know I'll find my strength

I will soar on the wings of eagles
I will learn to fly high above this world
And I will soar on the wings of eagles
I will learn to fly
I will learn to fly high above this world

I tremble with this heavy weight
And I'm buried underneath my grief
I'll run to You and not grow faint
And I'll lay my burdens at Your feet

frustration

I spent my morning loading pictures and posting things on craig's list. I posted a total of 26 items. About an hour after I finished, 22 of them had been flagged and deleted. I don't even know what it means for an item to be "flagged," but I do know that all that time was completely wasted today because all but four of them were removed. I did receive four e-mails about the remaining items, but they never called after I e-mailed them my phone number. So I'm guessing they weren't really serious. I guess I'll try a different approach tomorrow -- put all the items on one post, offering to sell the whole giant lot of items or to sell each thing individually. This is frustrating! I want to de-clutter my house and get some extra cash in the process. I'll hope for better results tomorrow :-)

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today's song: "What do I Know of Holy?" by Addison Road

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life its name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On Earth and Heaven above
What do I know of this love?

selling stuff

I don't like clutter, and yet my house is a cluttered MESS! So I'm going to sell "stuff." Some things are hard to part with because I might need them someday or I might want to use them even though right now I don't have time. I keep thinking that someday the kids will all be grown and I'll have free time to do all the projects that I have accumulated materials to complete. But I have to be realistic -- what will I probably do when I have free time again? Get a job, for one thing! And read more for the rest of the free time, I imagine. So here I go to photograph some "stuff" to put on Craig's List tomorrow.

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today's song: "Just as I Am" by Eden's Bridge (beautiful version of this old hymn!!)

Just as I am without one plea
But that Thy blood was shed for me
And that Thou biddest me come to Thee
O Lamb of God I come

Just as I am Thou wilt receive
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve
Because Thy promise I believe
O Lamb of God I come

Just as I am Thy love unknown
Has broken every barrier down
Now to be Thine, yea Thine alone
O Lamb of God I come

Seth trouble

Let me preface this post with this statement: SETH IS AN ANGEL!! Remember that even though the rest of the post might SEEM to contradict it. Seth was not ACTING like an angel today. He hasn't quite learned yet that it's POINTLESS to fight with me -- I ALWAYS win and just get angry that someone has dared to fight with me. So Seth keeps on fighting with me. I try to change his diaper, and he fights me. I still change his diaper, just without any smiles. Seth fights with me about holding my hand when we're walking somewhere and also about walking in general. He still has to go where I want him to go, just without the independence and relative comfort of walking (I pick him up, sometimes holding him around the belly and hauling him like a heavy crate on my hip). Seth keeps fighting me about not hitting people (especially Makenzie). He still has to stop hitting, just without the company of his sweet sister (or whoever he was hitting). This list could continue for quite some time, but you get the idea. I REALLY hope that Seth learns to stop fighting with me SOON!


Seth went to wrestling practice with Jason, Joel, and Luke tonight :-) He has to wear long sleeves and long pants under his singlet to protect his skin from infection where the psoriasis hasn't healed yet. Those mats might get cleaned regularly, but there's still going to be sweat and germs on them that could cause real problems for my little ANGEL.

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today's song: "Tunnel" by Third Day

There's so much you're living for
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you.
So keep holdin' on.

crazy people but Beautiful God

Crazy person #1: BAD driver who decided she needed to be in the turn lane, but didn't notice that I was coming up that lane. My horn doesn't work, so I couldn't honk at her to stop. It was relatively early in the morning, so the road was still icy and I couldn't stop. It was the left lane up against a median, so I couldn't get over away from her. She hit my van a little bit. When we got to the stop light, I got out to inspect the damage. She put a little dent in the sliding side door, but it still opened and closed properly. She acted like she didn't know that she'd hit me, apologized, said she didn't even see me coming up that lane. Whatever -- my van's in it's "senior years," so a little dent doesn't really bother me. Getting whacked in the door closest to Seth did shake me up a little bit, though. When I got home, I had to "un-stress" myself by organizing my ipod information -- I made an alphabetical list of all the albums on my ipod and color-coded them so that I could remember which ones I've re-loaded in mp3 format and which ones still need to be done. I know that's completely ocd-ish, but it really helped calm me down.

Crazy person #2: Seth! Makenzie, Seth, and I went to City Diner tonight while Jason, Joel, and Luke were at their first night of wrestling club. Seth has NEVER been as wild as he was tonight. At one point, he even ran out the door with Makenzie, the manager, and I running after him before he could get to the parking lot! The manager's husband who is a cook was chuckling and singing "FREEDOM!" It was really nice to see the manager and her cook husband who used to work the day shift and now are on night shift. She told me they'll be moving back to day shift sometime soon, though, and that made us very happy! It's hilarious to hear Seth try to say their names! They crack up over it, too. I think it makes people feel special to have a little angel make up his own names for them :-)

Crazy person #3: BICYCLE RIDER!!! Who in their right mind rides a BICYCLE on Northern Lights Blvd????!!!!!!!! Besides the highways, there are three main roads in this city -- Northern Lights is one of them!!! And she wasn't off the road, either. She was on the far right side, but it's WINTER for crying out loud! The snow plows don't plow any more than they absolutely have to for people to DRIVE relatively safely on the road. There IS a bike trail -- very snowy and not plowed, I'm sure, but safer than driving on the super-traffic-filled road! Maybe she was suicidal. Maybe I should've pulled over and asked her if she needed help or a ride to a counselor or a pastor or something. CRAZY!

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today's song: "Beautiful God" by Sarah Kelly

Beautiful God, timeless and unchanging
I don't understand the reach of Your hand and unending grace

So why am I so scared? I know You'd never hurt me
What is it I fear with love standing here so ready to save?

Don't let me walk away to make the same mistakes
With every breath I know that Your eyes they won't let me go

Beautiful God patient and unfailing
No words could thank or ever repay for all that You've done

Why am I so scared? I know You won't desert me
My future's unclear but I know You're here
Teaching me how to trust as You change me to love

Don't let me walk away to make the same mistakes
There's more to life, I know
Cause Your eyes they won't let me go