Tears of Joy

Homeschooling Seth makes me cry sometimes.  We have had a few days that involved yelling, spanking, crying . . . failure.  We've had a few days that Seth tried his best, but he just can't do what I asked him to do which makes me cry . . . sadness.  Today, though, I was crying because HE DID IT all by himself!!!!  The task was so simple, but it took Seth three days of practice to understand how to put the numbers one through ten in order.  Other days, he would get 1, 2, 3, and maybe 4 but then think that 7 went next.  He would only know what number to put next if I counted out loud starting at one, not just once, but six times to get numbers four through nine in order (obviously, when the number ten was all that was left, he knew what to do without re-counting).  Today, though, he whispered the numbers himself.  I sat and watched and gave no input at all.  If he put the numbers in the wrong order (which he did a few times), he corrected them himself.  He didn't need to re-count to know what the next number was every time.  He only re-counted to check to see if they were in the correct order.  Four attempts in a row he put the numbered cards in numerical order!

Yesterday, I got to spend the evening with three sweet girls from church.  One of them is two years old and said many things just like Seth does when he's not feeling like being sociable:  "Leave me alone," "Don't touch me," and "Go away!"  All of those words made me chuckle because she's SO cute and spunky!  When she was feeling more comfortable, she said sweet things like, "Thank you," and "Are you ok?" when I said "ouch" as I tried to stand up straight after being on the ground with her.  Another of the girls is seven years old and is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and her little sister.  She's polite, fun, and funny.  And then there's the 13-year-old.  She's only two months older than Seth, but is a beautiful big sister who can (and does) take care of her younger sisters and herself just like a young mommy.  Everything about her shows normal or even above average development.  She's smart, pretty, caring, polite, and competent.  She can see what needs to be done or said and react appropriately.  Everything about these three delightful girls shows perfect development and great parenting.  I try so hard not to compare Seth to anyone else, but sometimes comparisons hit me in the face, especially when I realize that a certain child is the same age as Seth.  I can get so completely wrapped up in Seth that I forget how different he is from other people his age.

Comparisons like last night are a little difficult, but necessary for me to remember that my reality isn't what it was before I had Seth.  All at the same time, the normal development of those three sweet girls and the snail-pace slow development of my sweet boy are parts of reality.  The differences aren't cause for mourning because God made Seth exactly how He wanted him to be.  Over-analyzing the whole concept of being happy for both sides of reality can make me confused and sad, and that's probably Satan's attempt to steal the joy that God intended when He gave me Seth.  I can't allow the thought, "This isn't fair!" to be any part of my thought process.  Accepting and seeing the benefits of both sides of reality causes celebration.  I'm so glad for the successes of my sweetheart Seth,  and I'm equally glad for the successes of the sweethearts who visited yesterday.